- SIGN UP FOR AN AVAILABLE DATE.
Notify the Web Master(bater) (
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) and the Hare Raiser (
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) of your desire to hare. - CHOOSE A CO-HARE.
Maybe even two if it’s a special occasion. - FIND A SAFE PLACE TO START.
Parking and a bathroom help. - DECIDE WHERE TO FINISH.
That’s called an On-In. - SCOUT THE TRAIL.
UHHH generally has a trail 3 miles or so long with 2 beer stops but trails can be longer – with more stops -- during warmer weather. Hashers prefer off-road trails as much as possible, except when they are wearing costumes at which time public humiliation is fine. Shiggy – anything off road (use your imagination) -- is your friend and the pack’s enemy. - UHHH HAS LIVE RUNS.
Hares lay trail while the pack tries to catch them. - Basic premise — Hashers should get about an hour's worth of exercise, time spent at beer stops is not exercise, but it’s a lot of fun. A trail should be designed to keep the pack together. It's not much fun running by yourself trying to find trail.
- Strategies — Slow down front-running bastards (FRBs) by making them run farther using checks, false trails, beer stops or other creative devices.
- Trail marks — Use flour “hashes,” arrows or toilet paper through woods or other areas where flour is difficult to see. YOU CANNOT LAY TOO MANY HASHES. At minimum, there should be a mark every 25-40 feet. It should be obvious to hashers if they are off trail. Trail needs to be marked heavier for runs in the dark or twilight. An average trail will use up to 10 pounds of flour. Checks — These are breaks in the trail marked by a flour circle with an “X” in the middle. The trail can go in any direction, except where it came from. More than 2 hashes means the trail is good. Also, boob checks, P-checks, spank-me checks, etc. mean the trail can go anywhere from that point.
 - Other crap — Hares can designate other marks of their choosing.
- TWO WEEKS BEFORE YOUR HASH. Send your run start & time info to the Web Master(bater) and the Hare Raiser. We need time to get notice in the newspapers. You are responsible for duplicating fliers and distributing them to running stores, gyms, other runners and nursing homes. All hashers should recruit new hashers. E-mail hash fliers to other people and be willing to assist virgins when they attend a hash.
- OUR USUAL FEE IS $5. This should include the cost of beer, water, soda and it's nice if light snacks are provided at the On-In. Let people know if they need money for the On-In, or the On-After. Virgins usually run free.
- HARES, REMEMBER TO BRING CHANGE. Sometimes, harried harriers only have enough time to shoot through the drive-through and pick up a $20, or a wad of $20s, as the case may be. Hares should give the HashCash/Haberdasher $1 per hasher - do the math, this only allows you $4 per hasher! - for each person who attends your event so we can pay for the web site, and so we can build a cushion toward eventually providing “awards” for those who complete their 25th, 50th and 100th hash with the UHHH.
- Special occasion hashes may cost more than $5, but then hares should provide more than what you'd get at a typical hash, such as a T-shirt, food, lap dances, BMWs, etc.
- Do not expect to recoup all of your costs. Haring is like throwing a party and you are the host. Deal with it.
- HAVE FUN. Don’t make this process too difficult. Hashing is a simple affair for simpletons. Keep this in mind.
- REMEMBER THE HASH RULES:
1. There are no rules.
2. No wankers.
3. See rule No. 1.
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