15 Glorious UHHH Moments

From Pole Dancer, his comments in italics:


15. The Wedding. Yes, we hashed for a wedding. Not a bachelor party. Not the shower. But an actual wedding. And yes, they are still married. (Confirmation on that one?) (NOTE…there have been at least two more weddings since then.)


14: Tanya’s Various Names: Like the Devil himself who goes by a myriad of names, she has been Open Leg Rock Her, Butt Sex is Available, Straight-Up Nasty, Comes Infrequently and who knows what else. (NOTE: She now lives in Denver and pretends she never heard of us.)


13. The Hazmat team showing up: Umm…. (NOTE: Wow, where to begin. Basically, someone snapped a shot of the hares dropping flour on Main Street and posted it online. The next day, someone found said flour and called Hazmat. Greenville News ran a photo of the fire trucks and crew in exactly the same spot as the other photo. Oh yeah, this was a red dress led by Farteen, Rigor, and Newd.)


12. Beer miles: Nuff said. (NOTE: The first beer mile was at Eastside high (yes?). Second was the alley behind Chicora and Main Street, and Newd was kicked out of Chicora. Third was a middle school? Somewhere in there was thetime Seven Seconds ran one drinking 40s at every stop) (Addendum: I Do... For Now once led a Mimosa Mile on New Year’s Day.)


11. Walkie-talkies on trail: Used only once by hares to set up plans. This devious ploy may one day see the light of day again. (Daily Newd and Buster pulled this one.)


10: The Great Run: Cock Doc showed up late for a Green Dress and amazingly managed to follow trail solo through two stops to actually beat most of the pack to the third stop. (NOTE: RIP Doc)


9. Split Hares: While not invented here, the idea of teams of hares splitting off in different directions was perfected. Some of the best trails were built when the hares simply went their separate ways. Daily Newd gets credit for this. (NOTE: we did a four way split one time -- Pole, Semper,Newd and I Do... For Now -- no one followed Pole or Semper. This was the trail where Skid Mark got his name for ripping open his skull.)


8. The Miracle of The Fortified Wine: Circa 2006, a hash was held where more people showed up than there was beer to be consumed. As the amber fluids dwindled, I Do... For Now, produced three bottles of fortified wine that was bought as a joke. They saved the day and a miracle was born as people kept drinking from them. Some hashers still take pilgrimages to that sacred spot (corner of Cleveland and University) to pray to the hash gods for guidance on trail. (NOTE: No one goes there anymore.)


7. Colored flour: For years, Hash chemists have worked on ways to make colored powder for special events such as the Green Dress and Red Dress. Legend has it that One in the Pink, One in the Stink lost his hair in one such experiment. However, in 2009, the Papenfi broke the code by mixing flour with carpenters chalk. (NOTE: RIP Hardware.)


6. Pole Dancer trails: Hailed by U.S. News and World Report as the Sam Peckinpaugh of hareing because his trails are visually stunning, easy to follow and painful to endure, his knowledge of the seedy side of Greenville has led hashers into places that bums fear and only eagles dare. Under interstates, through bee swarms, into college buildings, down rivers, and one day, through fire itself, Pole Dancer’s warped mind led future hares to take buses, go through Haywood Mall, a funeral and who knows what else all in the effort to create a great trail. (NOTE: his trails still stuck and he is an ass.)


5. The Grand Debauchery: The epic trail up and over mountains. The food. The rain. The hotel that was about to be condemned by the city. It was like Woodstock without the Grateful Dead. Good times. Good times indeed. (NOTE: The naked midnight run really set this one over the edge considering this all occurred inside city limits. I Do... For Now falling on a stick. This also was the 69th hash. Some other highlights: Shappens jumping out of the beer truck to get Krystal burgers. The late-great Wandering Dick teaching Upstate his quarters game. Seven's video of NCB saying "I don't know.")


4. NC/SC Interhash: In 2009, the UH3 pulled off a grand hashing menagerie. Tales continue to unfold. Good times. Good times indeed.


3. Bottled flour: Listen up hashers, back in the olden days, hares used to carry flour in bags and parcel out hash marks using their hands or scoopers. And we liked it. Actually, it stunk. It wasn’t until 2005 that STD with aid from Seven Seconds began using water bottles. It revolutionized haring as we know it.


2. UH3’s Birth: Peters Extension came down from Charlotte with two things on his mind, to chew gum and to start a hash. When he was all out of gum, he started the hash. He then went back to chewing gum. (NOTE: Peters has since moved away and hasn’t hashed since the 69th.)


1.Vikings of the Hash World: I’ve talked to at least three people over the years who swear they did something similar to hashing back in the 1960s. They would meet at the Cleveland Street YMCA, follow a trail downtown and always end at the Zorba Lounge to get drunk and eat. They were Furman grads. Is it possible they invented a similar adventure to hashing by happenstance, or did one of them spend time in Asia and bring hashing back with them? What they did is very similar to what G and Torch were doing in the 1930s (no circle, no names) and a fairly static course with a permanent on-in. So, Greenville is like the Vikings. We brought hashing to America, but don’t get the credit. (NOTE:  Former Lt. Governor Nick Theodore was one of the three people. C. Dan Joyner, commercial real estate baron, was the other other. The third guy was John McDonald, who recently celebrated his 80th birthday by doing 80 situps, 80 push ups, 80 pull ups and an 80 mile bike ride.)