UHHH 2015 / 2016 MisManagement
Fore score and seven beers ago, our founding forefathers created the hash under the guise that all hashers are created equal. But they were drunk. When they sobered up they tossed that and decided to try and hand out menial tasks so the kennel didn't completely fall apart. Thus, mismanagement was born. Here's ours:
Grand Master Emeritus: Pink N Stink
GME is a mostly honorary position, kind of like the queen of England. Only for the oldest of old school hashers of the kennel, the only real function is the to be tie-breaker when the rest of these idiots can’t agree on something and to throw in his or her honored opinion, usually unsolicited.
Grand Master: Grampa YankMyDick
The GM provides direction to the rest of the cat-herders, actively participates in planning events any bigger than a dress run, and encourages the kennel traditions to propagate.
Co-Religious Advisers: Bitch Warmer and Dixty 9
The RA is the face and the voice of the kennel and the Master of Ceremonies of the hash. The RA runs opening and closing circle, including among other things the blessing of the hares, introductions, trail violations, and hash namings. When the RA opens circle, all should fall silent and listen with baited breath to the forthcoming wisdom / drunken ramblings, but that rarely happens, and the RA usually needs to exhibit skills of a seasoned cat herder.
Hare Raiser: Penile Hubris
As Hare Raiser you have ONE job... to make sure that each scheduled hash has someone to hare. And while the Hare Raiser by default has to hare any hash he or she fails to secure a hare for, it should be noted that all hashers should hare 10% of the hashes they attend.
Haberdasher / Hash Cash: Thirsty Taco
While separate functions in many kennels, it makes sense to combine them. The Haberdasher orders kennel-personalized goods to sell to the local group as well as visitors, and also event specific swag. The Hash Cash is responsible for making sure that $1 per attendee of each hash is collected for making such purchases.
Web Masturbator: Drives While Masturbating
The Web Masturbator is responsible for keeping up to date the electronic footprint of the kennel in general and the info for upcoming hashes in particular.
Other MisManagement positions may be added in the future, depending upon the active kennel size.
MisManagement elections are now held yearly as part of the Analversary Hash in October.